Pleasing Start-Over Chapter 16: Arc 2 Part 3
Author: 橘子
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Qiao Chen was surprised once he saw who arrived. However, it was only for a moment, and he finally understood why his teacher was acting so strangely. The newcomer sat down next to Caesar. The man had a warm and gentle temperament with a handsome appearance. Technically, this ‘man’ was a gher, and more specifically, this gher was the one who gave birth to Qiaoyi, Fionn. So he’s my mother…
“I heard you and Jared split up.” Fionn asked as he took note of his son’s condition.
Qiao Chen wanted to speak, but decided against it. He figured that if he actually called out to his mom, the two would be too shocked. He couldn’t act too different from the original Qiaoyi, so he ended up nodding in reply.
In the previous life, Qiaoyi had been unable to understand and accept his mother’s remarriage. The mourning period after his father’s death didn’t even pass yet, but his mother had still left. He left him. From then on, he no longer called Fionn ‘mom’, just Mr. Fionn.
Qiaoyi was deeply hurt. He was a baby when his father died… Then his own mommy abandoned him. How could Qiaoyi no feel pain? How could he not feel the betrayal? The loneliness? The hurt?…
Therefore, every time Qiaoyi met up with Fionn, Qiaoyi treated him poorly. He did his best to viciously insult and try to humiliate Fionn. All his pain and suffering was redirected to this ‘monster’ who abandoned his father. This ‘beast’ who’d even abandon their own child…
“Are you… I mean, um have you fully recovered from your injuries?” Fionn asked carefully. He knew about Qiaoyi’s injuries. He visited him a couple of times too, but he only visited when Qiaoyi was unconscious. He didn’t dare and show up while Qiaoyi was awake. Fionn was scared of provoking Qiaoyi’s anger and over stimulating him- therein disturbing Qiaoyi’s recovery.
Fionn happened to accompany his husband while he handled some work affairs at the school today. He wanted to drop by and chat with Caesar while they were here. Unexpectedly, Qiaoyi was there as well. So even though Fionn knew that Qiaoyi usually disliked him, he still didn’t want to miss the chance of seeing his own child. Not only did he want to check on whether Qiaoyi recovered fully, but he also wanted to check on Qiaoyi’s emotional state after breaking up with Jared.
“I’ve already recovered well enough.” Qiao Chen replied as he observed Fionn’s cautious demeanor. Qiao Chen felt an abrupt trace of bitter sadness well up for himself and Fionn.
“You guys can keep talking. I’m heading to the lab, so I can see what needs to be prepared. I would like to start my project as soon as possible.” Qiao Chen excused himself and stood up to leave. Qiaoyi’s recent attitude towards his papa was quite bad. Qiao Chen couldn’t just do a 180 on his attitude out of nowhere and just become another person at the drop of a hat. Right now wasn’t a good time to try and reconnect with his mother either, so it was better to leave and wait for a better opportunity.
Fionn watched Qiaoyi’s back as he left. He turned back to Caesar after he couldn’t see Qiaoyi anymore and looked heartbroken. Grief reared its head in Fionn’s heart.
“Don’t take it too hard. The kid’s already grown up and developed his personality to be like that already. He’s still healing from the emotional scars. Don’t rush him, and take your time to help him undo that knot.”Caesar reassured.
“He still resents me… He should too. At that time, I was too impatient. I ignored his feelings. I ignored him, my own child. It’s my fault. He wasn’t ready. He didn’t even see it coming. I was the one blindsided him and broke his heart. I caused that know. It’s all my fault.” Fionn blamed himself. He put his face in his hands as he regretted his rashness. He mournfully sighed, “I should have just waited until he was older before I remarried. I was too impatient.”
Caesar sighed too.
Qiaoyi did in fact develop a deep scar on his heart because of Fionn’s impatience. He thought that his mother didn’t love him anymore. Fionn was in such a hurry to marry someone else. It was so urgent to him, that he didn’t even wait until a year passed. To skip the mourning period, meant that Fionn abandoned his father. To leave and marry someone else so quickly also meant that Fionn abandoned him too. Ultimately, before Qiaoyi had a chance to properly process the grief from his father’s passing he had to immediately watch as his own mother willingly left too.
Qiaoyi was only a few years old when he experienced the pain of not only his father’s untimely death, but also the deep pain of his mother’s betrayal and abandonment. These events were probably the catalyst to Qiaoyi developing such a paranoid and clingy personality.
Qiaoyi’s father was dead. His mother was gone. Even his grandfather wasn’t around much because of work. The only people who Qiaoyi saw and interacted with on a daily basis were the numerous servants around the house. So even though he was constantly surrounded by people, he was alone. The large manor that they lived in was always full, but it always felt so empty. So Qiaoyi began to develop a sensitive and prickly nature. Small things, which people normally brushed off, easily set off his temper.
In the past life, Qiaoyi never forgave his mother for what he did. However, Qiao Chen currently occupied the body and he didn’t blame Fionn anymore.
Before their marriage, Qiaoyi’s father and papa had their own people who they cared and loved for. His father’s lover died, so his father had no one. Fionn’s lover was still there, waiting in the distance. That was the man that Fionn quickly married.
As a military man, Qiaoyi’s father was already had a cold and distant personality. After his lover’s death, Qiaoyi’s father became even more withdrawn. He threw himself into military battles and training with out a care for his own health or body. His life no longer had anymore meaning besides serving his country. Eventually, Qiaoyi’s grandfather was fed up with his son and just arranged a marriage with Fionn.
The marriage proposal was accepted by Fionn’s family when Fionn’s lover was facing a major crisis within his own family. Fionn’s family vehemently rejected the relationship between Fionn and his lover. So when Qiaoyi’s grandfather proposed the marriage arrangement, Fionn’s family quickly accepted and forced the marriage to go through.
Qiaoyi’s father, on the other hand, did not know about such matters. In fact, he probably wouldn’t have even cared if he had known. The marriage between the two was nothing more than a political marriage. Love and affection did not exist and was not cared for in these types of arrangements. Therefore, Qiaoyi’s father never cared for his supposed wife’s, Fionn, feelings or wellbeing. His heart had grown cold, so he believed that there wasn’t a point to care for someone who wasn’t his beloved anyways.
It was only after Qiaoyi’s birth that his father’s cold and icy heart finally melted. Qiaoyi’s father loved Qiaoyi to death. Whenever he looked at Qiaoyi, his mouth had a constant smile and eyes were always overflowing with love. He finally remembered what it meant to love. However, the love and tenderness that Qiaoyi’s father showed Qiaoyi was never directed towards Fionn. He didn’t believe in replacements, so Fionn was still coldly treated as a stranger.
It was only at the end of his life did Qiaoyi’s father learn about Fionn’s situation. Fionn was forced to marry him and even had a person he was in love with. Throughout his whole life, he was never kind to Fionn, and now he felt as though he owed a lot to the mother of his child. He decided to pay Fionn back and give him the life he wanted before his death. Before he died, he returned Fionn to his lover. Then, he convinced Qiaoyi’s grandfather to simply, and without making things too difficult, allow Fionn to leave after his death.
In the past life, Qiaoyi didn’t know about such agreements. However, Qiaoyi’s father thought everything through carefully after knowing these facts. He was deeply apologetic towards Fionn and his situation. He knew it would be hard to marry someone they didn’t care for. It was even harder if you were forced into such a marriage.
In the past, Qiaoyi constantly lashed out and put Fionn down. Therefore, Qiao Chen, who recently jumped into this life, could not immediately acknowledge Fionn’s greeting and attempt for reconciliation. Not only was Qiao Chen completely unfamiliar to such social interactions, but he also froze up due to guilt. After he recalled what he had done in his past life, Qiao Chen suddenly felt as though he was undeserving of Fionn.
Since he was able to experience this rebirth, in a sense, then Qiao Chen decided to slowly make up for his wrong doings in the near future.
Qiao Chen’s mech project soon began. Since his teacher was the university’s vice president, Qiao Chen was able to receive a lot of support. Qiao Chen knew that the reason why his teacher would look after him so well was because of Fionn. Well half of the reason should have been how Caesar believed in Qiaoyi’s talent and ability. But Caesar and Fionn were also close friends, so the other half of the reason as to why Caesar was so attentive was because of Fionn’s insistence and urging. However, no matter the reason, Qiao Chen was still wholly grateful for the help.
Qiao Chen and his six or seven assistants were busy working in the lab. The lab was fairly large, about the size of three basketball courts. The machinery and equipments were all humongous. When compared with the people inside the people looked rather tiny. The team was testing out a new mech. Although the new mech only had a tenth of the durability and strength of the current mechs, it had many more functions and capabilities.
Qiao Chen’s project dealt with the development of a program for a mech’s positioning guidance. He decided to use the new program he was implementing to carry out his first attack on Greene since his return. This whole plan wasn’t coming out of the blue. It was directly related to the situation he wanted to take advantage of; the fifth fleet’s current large-scale project.
Qiao Chen already had the whole project sketched out in his head before he left the fifth fleet’s base. So although he himself was no longer participating in the project, there were still several talented mech engineers at the fifth fleet. Greene was sure to change his system’s target to one of the other engineers and steal their work. With his system in play, he would definitely complete the project ‘on his own’.
Qiao Chen was actually quite excited for Green to finish the project with flying colors. If Greene didn’t, how else would Qiao Chen seem vastly superior? It was much better to surpass your enemy’s crowning achievements just as they were being crowned.
As days bled into nights, Qiao Chen and his team busily worked until they finally completed his project. Even though they completed building and programming everything, they still weren’t done. They had to run repeated tests to determine any other bugs or defects in the program. It was only when they completed the final testing experiment, were they finally able to call the project a success.
Over the course of Qiao Chen’s project progress, Caesar watched how Qiao Chen completed his work step-by-step. He wanted to see if he help Qiao Chen if he hit any bumps or road blocks, but Qiao Chen performed perfectly throughout the entire venture. There were hardly any mistakes, if any. His test runs usually showed a successful and perfect programming that ran without a hitch. In fact, Caesar believed that ‘Qiaoyi’ was exhibiting a higher talent and intelligence capability than what he displayed previously during his university years. Caesar believed that it 100% not Qiaoyi who had made the mistakes during his stint at the fifth base. With this kind of capabilities, such mistakes or problems should have been nearly nonexistent.
Qiao Chen’s execution and completion of of his project was fairly low key. The fifth fleet and Greene, on the other hand, went for a high profiled approach. They produced their work with a great fanfare to catch people’s attention. With such a noisy approach, other bases decided to keep a close eye on them and knowledge of the fifth fleet’s project spread before it was even released.
After they completed the development and research on their new military mech, it was necessary to run combat simulation tests on military grounds. After the mech passed the military standards, then the base would be able to utilize it in real combat. In addition to being able to utilize the mech during battles, the military would also either allow more funding for further research and development or award the proprietary copyrights to the data and mech to the base or team who completed the project. If the accomplishments on mech engineering was a personal project, than the person would be able to give their data or work with a base of their choosing.
Caesar was a seasoned vice president and professor. It was quite common for him to accompany his students to base for combat simulation testing. All his years of experience allowed him to become extremely familiar with the appropriate procedures. However, he never expected that the fifth fleet would also be testing their project at the same exact time and the exact same place as Qiaoyi.
The list had Qiao Chen and Caesar testing their project an hour before the fifth base would commence their testing. Like in many cases and situations, there were always unwritten rules that dictated the order of priority. Without mentioning the Flock name, Caesar himself was no ordinary individual. His identity as the acting Vice President of the Star Empire’ Mech Engineering College allowed him the opportunity to have good relationships with several high level personnel within the military. Not only was he an important person from a renowned university, but most of the students that he personally taught and mentored throughout his career were currently working within the military. The combat simulation head also didn’t dare to place any other group before Caesar’s without specific orders allowing him to do so.
If it were any other person or base member, they would also give way to Caesar as a sign of respect. Caesar would always be able to test his projects first. However, the fifth base came with Greene, other outstanding personnel, and even Vice Captain Canette to test their project on this day as well.
It was at this time where Caesar and Canette met. It was rumored that they viewed each other as rivals, and their actions confirmed that the rumors were true. Therefore, as rivals, they refused to back down and allow the other to proceed with their testing first. The two sides were deadlocked and the combat simulator head was also stuck between a rock and a hard place. He didn’t know who to calm down and who to persuade to back down because he couldn’t offend either person.
“Well, we want to use the same simulation site. We are obviously going to be testing the same type of mech too. If that’s the case, then we might as well battle it out with each other. Whoever wins will have passed the test. How’s that sound?” Canette suddenly and confidently proposed.
“Engaging in combat with one another?” Caesar lifted his brows questioningly, “Are you sure?”
“What? Scared? I mean this is a project that your fake genius finished after all. How would you dare to go against a project developed by the true geniuses within the fifth fleet?” Canette disdainfully replied. His eyes were filled with contempt as he looked over to Qiao Chen as he stood behind Caesar’s left.
“We have nothing to fear. Just make sure you don’t regret your proposal.”Caesar confidently replied. He had complete confidence in Qiao Chen’s project. Qiao Chen kept a low profile throughout the whole process of the project, so few people knew what his project entailed. The fifth fleet, on the other hand, kept a high profile while they completed their project. That meant that everyone knew several key details of their project. Caesar long knew the consequences of their high profiled actions. If they wanted to play the fool so badly, then he would gladly grant their request.
Caesar and Canette both signed a battle contract. This agreement ensured that both parties could not hold the other liable for the damages caused during over the course of their battle.
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Author’s note:
About Fionn:
Fionn’s role has caused too much controversy. First of all, Tangerine (author’s name is orange/tangerine boat) has to admit that my writing ability isn’t good enough. I failed to fully express the role that I originally wanted to write and it’s caused a lot of division.
Tangerine Boat set Fionn in a sympathetic role because it’s a quick transmigration setting. Fionn is not the protagonist, and in order not to drag the plot down, I didn’t write down everything that Fionn experienced. I only explained a bit of what the protagonist felt. So now I want to explain to you how I wanted to write Fionn and how it should have been perceived.
Why would I say that Fionn is a victim?
He was a victim of circumstance. He was forced to marry the protagonist’s father. He was forced to have a relationship with someone he didn’t love. He was even forced to conceive and give birth to the protagonist with a man he doesn’t love. The man he does love, he loves deeply. That man is alive. He’s witnessing this as it all happens. He hears it as word spreads about how the Flock family has a new arrival. Fionn suffered a deep and tremendous pain. (Tangerine Boat’s writing level isn’t advanced enough where these aren’t implied in the text, since I don’t want to explicitly say it and add more filler.)
If there are readers who still feel that Fionn shouldn’t have abandoned his child for his beloved, then let me give you a real life example of something you all know happens in our own cities:
A young woman is ready for her life to begin. She has someone whom she loves. She has her future ready and goals set. She is beautiful too. Since she is a woman, a gender that is hard for people to find in this country of ours, was kidnapped in a human trafficking scheme. She was forced into a rural village in the mountains and forced to marry a person she doesn’t know or want. She couldn’t escape. She was powerless. She was unwilling to give birth to the child and its arrival would only bring her pain and suffering, not joy. This child would further drag and trap her into this world of pain and suffering because now she has to stay for the child’ survival. This isn’t what she wants. This wasn’t a part of her future, but that is what it’s become. This is her life now.
Many years passed, the young woman became a mother. One day, she finally saw a ray of hope in this dark and endless torture she endured. She could finally leave. She could finally escape. This was her dream, and she couldn’t wait anymore. So she left. She escaped from this life that she was force to have. It is at this time that no one has the right to ask her to stay just because she is a mother. Even the child can’t ask that of her.
The child was someone she didn’t want. This was a child she was forced to have. Does anyone think that she needs to submit to this fate? That she must accept this pain and life that other people forced her into? (If there really is someone who thinks that she has to accept such a life, then I have nothing else to say to you.)
Some people may think that this example is very extreme, but what I wrote in the story is essentially the same.
Why does Qiao Chen feel that his father owes him more when he remembers the past?
Because even though his father didn’t know that Fionn had a person he deeply loved, he knew that Fionn was an unwilling participant. However, in order to complete the task that his father asked him to, he did as he was told. He never cared about Fionn’s feelings. ALso because of his own character and the person he loves deeply in his heart, he is colder and rougher towards Fionn without realizing it. To him, Fionn was just a tool to have a child. (It’s my faul and there is no specific description here)
So why did Qiao Chen feel the need to compensate Fionn?
Because when he was Qiaoyi, he constantly insulted Fionn who only wanted to love him, Everytime they met, Qiaoyi’s words would fly. And each time they’d stab deeply into Fionn’s heart. When Qiao Chen was reborn into this life, he realized how much pain he caused. (Please don’t underestimate the harm that verbal abuse can cause.)
Why does Tangerine Boat say that Fionn is actually a good person?
Because if I was Fionn, then I wouldn’t be able to suffer through such a heartbreaking situation. I wouldn’t be able to treat the protagonist like Fionn does, so carefully and lovingly. However, for the sake of the plot, I made Fionn do it.
Therefore, if you want to say that everything it irrelevant, I am different. I feel that Fionn in stronger than the protagonist in this sense.
After seeing everyone’s comments, I seriously reflected over everything. The plot didn’t specifically state it out loud in the text. I can’t just expect the reader to be able to understand such ambiguous things. Unspoken words are the main reason for the role’s deviation. (Do you think yourself as the dream of red mansions? Then let others guess.)
In fact, when I saw a lot of positive and encouraging messages, this tangerine boat was involuntarily encourage and motivated to write.
When I see negative comments, if it is only about the plot, then I am actually very happy too. Because the reader is more aware than the author of the story’s shortcomings. If the read points out such mistakes, then I as the author can review and correct these shortcomings in order to grow.
However, Tangerine Boat has also been emphasizing that everyone stays civil when they’re discussing. I can accept criticisms on the story, however, I do not accept attacks on personal lived. Novels are that, novels. Reality is a separate matter. It is reality.
If readers are still attacking me and threatening my life, because you are unsatisfied with the story, then I only want to tell you one thing: 反弹。(Rebound, bounce back. possibly just right back at you or kind like shield’s up)
““““““
T/N: My god that was a lot to translate. Apparently the author got a LOT of flack for writing Fionn in such a sympathetic situation.
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Egg Translations 
SPOILER, read at own discretion.
“he still didn’t want to miss the chance -spoiler but thanks for the heads up /egg- doesn’t make any sense
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I will reword the translation to fit this better, thanks for letting me know. However I will need to modify the spoiler. I’ll try to read ahead from now on to avoid these mistakes. ❤
*Will review the text and see what went wrong
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Hey Birdie, I checked my drafts and it looked like I just spelled own completely wrong and spell checked it into only. However I would have seen a problem if I had read ahead. Cheers and thanks for your help 🙂
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Hehehe. Time to put them in their place. Show them what you’re made of 😁😁
Thanks for the great translation ♥️
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thanks 4 the chapter………
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Hi, ya! 😎
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Ohh exciting ~~
Thanks for the chapter! 💕
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Qiao Chen is going to smack down Greene’s face so hard, he wouldn’t be able to use it fpr a few days ( • ̀ω•́ )
Going for a high profile approach? ╮(╯▽╰)╭ it seems like they’re asking for it
The part where Fionn and Qiaoyi interacted hurt my heart! I like how Qiao Chen says “not now”,which means he plans to reconcile with his papa soon.
Thanks for your translations （●´∀｀）ノ♡
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Smackdown next chapter!!!!
Yay!!! -bounces up and down-
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Thank you, Egg. 💞💞💞💞💞
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I personally wanted to go through my screen to slap some irritating ants!
Show them who’s the real genius Qiao Chen!
Thanks for the chapter! 💕
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Hi, Kimmy! 😝😝😝
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Hmmhmm Protagonist’s Halo VS MC’s Halo :3:3:3 those two are vastly different haloes in world-hopping stories lol XD thanks for the chapter!
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Thanks for the chapter! 💕💕💕
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Hehe beat them up until they can’t even speak!! Thanks for the chapter~
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Great chapter and smooth translation. Thanks for the update!
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RIP Canette, you picked the wrong side here…
Thanks for the chapter!
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But like to be fair to Jiaoyi, Fionn should have at least waited till after the mourning period or something. Like come on. I can understand why Jiaoyi ended up the way he was 😦
It’s good they’re gonna reconcile though! Can’t wait
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I have mixed feelings about Fionn. I understand he wanted his love back, but he didn’t needed to abandoned his own child. That was a crude and selfish thing to do to. As a parent myself I can say I would never abandoned my childs for any lover/love in this world.
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I just translated the author’s note and their stance on Fionn if you want to go back and take a look.
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Well, for me I can understand.
After all since Fionn didn’t want this marriage and all, having a child can be more devastating that anything.
To make a parallel, I think this situation is similar to a child born from r*pe. It’s your child but what it represent is enough to make you hate him. The contradiction between motherly love and the hate you can have toward this child is what can make this even more excruciating. It’s not for nothing that abortion for these kind of child were the first legalized in my country.
And it’s not because it was legalized as marriage and it was in high society that it can’t be considered as r*pe, even more with the attitude of the father.
So while the child is indeed pitiful and in need of a loving parent, I can totally understand Fionn and find him really courageous to still be able to love MC even though he represent one of the most excruciating thing of his life, really.
Well, I can also totally understand the original for not wanting to forgive Fionn and hating him, (I would probably be the same) there’s not right or wrong in this, just this marriage that wrecked 2 lives, the ones of the mother and child.
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Fionn the goat. If you leave a child, you don’t want to go to him. The problem is that fionn hopes for a good relationship with her son, who was abandoned when his father died. He couldn’t even wait a little longer? It’s the worst thing you can do.You can’t justify such an act with love.
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Exactly if u make a decision then stick with it. U might have been in a desperate situation, but the child left behind also faces excruciating pain. Least u do is not remind him about it. He’s fully grown past stages where he needed u. U will only remind him abt his tragic childhood.
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I understand how the author is trying to make a point and Fionn is really a sad character. What I didn’t like about it is that MC end up feeling like he owe this sad character. No he didn’t. Just like how the author pointed out that Fionn didn’t want to be tied up after seeing the exit, it’s only fair that he didn’t want to see a parent who abandoned him and showed up from time to time because he(Fionn) felt guilty and wants to feel good.
Fionn might be a victim of situation but isn’t the MC the same? Fionn has his responsibilities and consequences. MC end up being in a force situation because of Fionn’s own decision. MC’s reaction and way of coping is Fionn’s consequences of his actions and in no way the MC’s fault.
The author could make Fionn a sad character but the author couldn’t let him dodge his responsibility and in a way, make it the MC’s fault.
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Considering that the MC in this incarnation is very extreme, to the point that he sabotaged an elevator to create a dangerous situation where people could have been (and were, in his case) badly hurt, I can only imagine how harmful his words were. The author literally described it as verbal abuse.
And just because Fionn wasn’t perfect, and didn’t wait an additional year of their life to leave the site of an emotionally abusive marriage for someone who loves them, and thus wasn’t there for their child, doesn’t mean they deserve to be degraded and cut down every time they try to be there for their child in the future.
Also, as the child of divorced parents, I can tell you that leaving one year later wouldn’t have made the MC feel any less abandoned. I understand that dealing with the grief of losing a loved one is different for everyone, but there’s no way the MC would have gotten over it in just one year, especially at such a young age. Just how much time *should* Fionn have sacrificed to their child?
The real question is why Fionn didn’t take the child with them. Was it because it he didn’t want a child (especially from a previous relationship) there while they reconstructed their relationship with their lover? Because the MC’s grandfather wanted to keep him? A bit of both? At the very least we know that throughout the MC’s life, Fionn tried to maintain a relationship with him, even without them living together. It can be difficult in a divorce for one parent to see their child, especially if they were not granted custody of their child and the other parent (or in this case grandparent) wants nothing to do with them.
As for Fionn going to see their son to make themselves feel good, if they were consistently verbally abused by him, it would not feel good to see him, so that doesn’t really track.
Fionn is not making the MC feel guilty, and the MC doesn’t feel guilty about making Fionn leave him or anything like that. The MC is feeling guilty because he was verbally abusive towards this person, and he knows that verbal abuse is wrong.
In the end, the author was saying that both the parent and the child made decisions that harmed their relationship to each other, and both feel guilty about it. Neither is trying to make the other feel that way (except for the previous incarnation of the MC). The fact that the MC feels guilty about being verbally abusive towards Fionn doesn’t mean that he thinks Fionn was in the right for leaving him as a child. It just means that he acknowledges that his own actions were wrong and that he can and wants to resume a healthy relationship with them.
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Your right in that being verbally abusive is never a good thing and the MC is truly in the clear for feeling guilty over such a thing. However, I dont think he should feel guilty over the reasons behind the abuse. He shouldn’t feel guilty for the hurt, pain and anger he felt over being abandoned, because that what it feels like to me.
Have you ever felt lonely? Like, truly feeling that your all alone with no one who cares enough to even stick around to see your truly alright. That feeling is god awful even as an adult let alone a young child. The MC was probably drowning in that feeling as a child for who knows how long and he grabbed onto the first person who stuck around long enough, trying to save himself.
Yes, his actions were extreme. Yes, they were wrong. But should he truly feel guilty for lashing out the way he did? I dont think so.
Fione was the adult. The MCs father and grandfather had already given him his freedom to be with original love. He could have stuck around. He could have slowly introduced his lover into the MCs life over the course of a few years. Yes, it would have taken 2 or 3 yrs to truly be open lovers in front of the MC, but as a parent, that would have been the responsible thing to do. Fione completely abandoned him, and from what I’m getting, it was probably for a few years. At that point, most of the damage was already done and after trying a few times, he should have just stayed away.
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Yea, I don’t get the point of MC feeling like he owed his mother anything, he didn’t, it wasn’t his fault that she had those circumstances and at the age where they need to be loved and cared for, she up and left and still expect him to be friendly to her, that’s just stupid…if you leave, then don’t turn back and expect unconditional love from someone you threw away.
I guess it’s that filial piety thing going, except the author forgot what happened in the last arc, just cuz she gave birth to him doesn’t mean he owes her anything when she ditched him at his most vulnerable moment.
Just like how mc’s father in the last arc felt that MC owed him something even tho he wasn’t the one that raised him or even cared for this so-called blood ties.
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How could Qiaoyi no feel pain?
no => not
He didn’t dare and show up while Qiaoyi was awake.
and => to
When compared with the people inside the people looked rather tiny.
people inside => mech (?)
Caesar believed that it 100% not Qiaoyi who had made the mistakes during his stint at the fifth base.
it 100% not => it was 100% not OR it 100% was not
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But what about Qiaoyi,I really respect what you are saying because that is also true he was forced to live a life he never wanted,but was that the little boy’s fault what did he know at the time the mom feels burdened and depressed but what about the child he too is a victim the result of everything why didn’t the mother know this . It is understandable if you want to live and start anew you deserve that much but can’t you at least consider what you are leaving behind even if you don’t want to take him along stay with him till he is able to fend for himself. He is your child you can’t abandon him just because you want to this is life face it,own it ,accept it and you can overcome it getting your life and eventually your happiness.
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Re: Author’s Note
I respect that everyone is their own person and each individual is entitled to their own opinion. I just want to voice my own thoughts if i were faced with the same situation as Fionn or the woman in the author’s note.
I would feel utterly devastated and depressed, but leaving my own child would not be my choice. Although he/she has the blood of a stranger/rapist, half of the child’s blood is still mine. Furthermore, the child didn’t have a choice to be born in the first place just like how I didn’t have the choice but to give birth to the child. But because I am an adult and he/she is still a child (and mine at that) + the child is innocent, I would still raise him/her. The child is innocent and I don’t ever want a child of my own to feel that he/she is unwanted ;(
But of course, as I said, everyone is entitled to their own opinion so whatever choice a person would do when faced with that circumstance should not be viewed with black and white frames 🙂
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Thank you for the chapter and your in-depth explanation and author notes. There are so many circumstances in a people lives , different society different situations. Family and political values are different for everyone.So it’s hard to’judge’ what is totally wrong or totally right. But as a reader, I enjoyed every situation presented as its a glimpse of what is happening,what has happened and what’s gonna happen. I don’t dwell to much on it.If the writer write something that I enjoyed I appreciate the moments it’s brought me. If not i may just skip it or drop it. Lol. Why bash the characters so much? Or bash the authors. And I really appreciate the translator for bringing a piece good book for us to enjoy. I am happy. Thank you
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I feel bad and pity for the mother Fion. I couldn’t blame her, whatever she decide no one has right to accuse or condemn her even her child. Anyway, let us focus on the plot of our QC. So, let the mech fight begin. Thanks for the chapter
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When Fionn left back then, he did so immediately and decisively, cutting all bridges and no road back. I don’t hate him for it since I know he is also a victim. But since he made the choice to break away cleanly, then he should not expect his child to still accept him as a father. I don’t like it that after everything that had happened, he suddenly shows up as a father and hopes for Qiaoyi to eventually forgive him for his abandonment. He already knows for a long time that him doing this to his son hurts them both so why is he insisting on mutual destruction? If he is really repenting, then instead of pushing his way into Qiaoyi’s life as a father, Fionn should have made it his goal to just be a friend or a mentor. He was the one who cut all ties with his son. I think Qiaoyi feeling guilty should just result to him accepting Fionn as a casual acquaintance or even a friend at first but not a father. Since Fionn genuinely wants to make it up to him, then they might eventually repair their relationship but just suddenly forgetting everything, the trauma, loneliness, and mental anguish was just too good to be true and too good for Fionn even though I don’t particularly hate him for his decision.
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I think I understand the cbaracter of Fionn.
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There seems to be a discrepancy between the age MC was when Fionne left and how MC reacted. If MC was only a few years old (maybe 2-3?) when his dad died and his other dad left, then he probably wouldn’t understand a lot of what was going on or remember much about his parents later on. It’s also weird that he remembers that Fionne left before the mourning period was over. That suggests an understanding of time and etiquette that most little kids wouldn’t have.
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For me, yes Fionn should be pitied for being forced to get married and have a child when he did not want to. But at the same time I pity the past self mc even more. His father attempted to make it up by asking the grandfather to allow Fionn to leave the family and marry his true love before he (father) died, so i find don’t pity Fionn that much for this reason. But don’t get me wrong even though I pity mc more, it doesn’t mean i don’t pity Fionn. The reason why I pity Qiaoyi more is because, like the story said, his father died while his mother left immediately after the death. His grandfather is always busy and can barely be there for the mc when it is one of his roughest part of life. This in turn caused him to have mental health issues where he becomes paranoid over everything and becomes aggressive towards others.
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Well, as a loving mother, is impossible for me to understand the feelings of run away mothers. I understand the author’s point of view and what she wanted to convey, but at the same time I feel she took the wrong turn. Ok,, Fionn didn’t love the father, and according to the author she neither loved the son (thus she left him behind without hesitation) … then why did she approach him just because he’s feeling guilty? In my opinion, he just needed to stay away and never meddle, because that was his choice in the first place … ok, i just needed to let it out 😂
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I do understand Fionn need to be back to the lover, but his action abonding the child, even if it remind him smthng bad is unacceptable….
besides, he could wait until the mourning phase, but he didnt…maybe the child will undestand the situation more if fionn wait….
its not wrong to say that the child is betrayed….so though im sympathize with him, i still blamed fionn…all in all in reality, this is all fate….
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Let me just say I do not sympathize with fionn at all. Okay, he was forced to marry and have a child with a person he didn’t like, and I understand why he would want to go back to his lover. But the way he did it? Leaving your child, abandoning him and him developing personality issues because of this? Disgusting.
Fionn could have waited for a while. Could have tried more to nurture the child and make him understand. Nah instead he had to run away right after his child lost his father.
And okay, the author can write any character the way they want to. But I abhor the way the MC feels guilty in treating his ‘mother’ that way in his past life cause no, he should not have felt guilty. Fionn knew what he was doing and if his child hates him growing up, he deserved it. Why is the MC portrayed as being wrong for hating his mother when his feelings are completely understandable? I am all for a possible reconciliation, but it’s not like Fionn was not in the wrong. If I was in that situation I would hate my mother too but blah whatever. Anyways, just wanna reiterate that the abandoned child’s feelings are completely valid and I don’t like the way the author has written the situation. But the author should not get a lot of flak for a minor character anyways.
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Don’t hate me. This is just my opinion and how I felt in this chapter.
First. Bruh. Prepare to be smashed by the MC, you fifth fleet shitheads!
Second and Last. About Fionn. Surely, some of us had a mixed feelings with this character. However, I hate him. Simple.
I don’t hate him as a person who got enaged to another person even though he had a man in his heart but I hate him as a Mother (ger). Impatient wasn’t an excuse, he simply never put his son in his heart, not a tiny little bit. If he were, he wouldn’t abandoned his baby after the Father died. The Husband didn’t mistreated him and was even sympathetic with his situation. But he just forgot the poor baby Qioayi. 😢 What a mother you are! I don’t care when or whatever opened his eyes and heart for the mistakes he made. If Qiao Chen wants to reconcile with his mother then I will respect his decision. But I will never like the character Fionn. Nuh uh! No thank you, Dear Author.
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I don’t really like the thought of Fionn becoming his ‘mother’ again tbh. Maybe it’s due to my own circumstances but even after I read his parent’s backstory I still couldn’t find myself accepting Fionn. I know he probably was itching to get back to his lover but abandoning your own child like that in the midst of his grieving, knowing that he suffered so much pain and loneliness at the time with no one to lean on, and yet years later he still selfishly wants to get back his position as the MCs mother? I know I shouldn’t call it selfish for a parent to want to be part of their kid’s life and I know its not entirely his fault but at the same time HE’S STILL AT FAULT idek anymore…Even though it sounds so wrong of me to think so I really don’t like the idea. At most I can accept him as a friend or an acquaintance, or even a person with a distant relative ish feel, but I really won’t be able to stand seeing him getting called mother by the MC again. I really can’t. What made me more uncomfortable was the fact that the MC thought he wasn’t deserving of Fionn. Like NO its the other way around he’s not deserving of YOU. What did he do so far aside from sitting there getting berated? Did he try to support his kid? Did he try to make him sit down and talk him through what really had happened? Did he take the time to spend time with his damn son? He kept him in the dark, only came by when it’s convenient, never clarified himself and just sat there wallowing in guilt AHS instead of clarifying shit. Like a coward he just sat there expecting something to happen when he won’t even makr a move himself. Did he expect an emotionally damaged child to make the first move? Fck I can’t do this. I really can’t.
Man I’m sorry I’m emotionally unstable rn ignore everything I just said 💀
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BTW I wrote this after the part where the MC thought he was undeserving of Fionn and from there on I just simply lost in and started ranting. If there’s something after that that changes everything then I’m sorry I haven’t read it yet haha-
I was actually so scared I was gonna get flamed for this but after reading the other comments I can say that I’m probably safe. I’m glad most of us share the same feeling towards Fionn lol
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Exactly the same thought. Personally I don’t support Fionn moving on so soon. Ok he could be in just a relationship with his boyfriend and slowly try to make him enter into their life so his son could have a father figure to rely on. And if his lover didn’t agree with it then I don’t think you should be with a lover like this who doesn’t accept your own flesh, your own blood. I don’t know man as a child of a toxic family my mother was my only light and best friend from my childhood. If when I was born, my mother too left me in the hands of my father’s family in absence of my father then today I wouldn’t be able to live. So, Fionn’s story is quite triggering to me. Yeah, I sympathize with him but he should have waited as a mature adult and more importantly mother.
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Everyone be obsessing over Fionn’s cuplability but being totally blasé on the abusive dad and grandpa, the world be harsh on women yo
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Further thoughts:
From the comments, I see a pattern of people making judgements on Fionn’s character according to their own values, needs, and life experiences. I think it’s pretty much agreed that Fionn made a super bad decision on the parenting part — that when push came to shove, he valued himself above the emotional well-being of his child. However, I strongly doubt that anyone here has experienced:
– being enslaved for their reproductive and childcare capabilities
– being sold by their own family
– being treated like a childbearing and childrearing emotional punching bag for years
– and the cause of it is all precisely the child you are now held morally responsible for by complete strangers in addition to everything else.
I haven’t personally experienced this myself, but I would imagine that after years of this, one’s headspace and sense of agency is likely to shrink to the size of a pinprick. People’s ability to make perfect decisions under stress generally tends to get shattered when they’re not given the rights and freedoms of human beings, and isolated, for long periods. An emotionally healthy, resilient, and independent individual with a good education and a strong sense of self may be able to make considerate decisions to delay their self-actualisation, to and remain living among his oppressors in a place he loathes even in circumstances like these, but I’ve not personally met anyone who can, either. The child Qiaoyi got monstrously hurt, and deserves all his emotions, but I ain’t judging some imperfect victim, and the size of his suffering is not greater than that of the parent who abandoned him. In addition, children get abandoned for FAR less than this IRL, for far less shitty reasons, in far worse conditions.
So I do rather agree with the author that no one has the right to judge Fionn. From another perspective, Fionn went above and beyond to make sure that his abandonment was temporary rather than permanent. After years of being treated as an emotional punching bag by his rapist, he turns up willingly to be treated as an emotional punching bag for his rapist’s son, and MC notes that he exerted considerable energies to make Qiaoyi’s life better in other ways even from a distance, something which many people seem to take completely for granted with parenting but is actually not only optional but fairly costly?
Tl;Dr: None of what Fionn put up with is what I think I would in his place, but I have not experienced his life and conditions, and I think no one on this forum has, so I will offer this perspective.
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*more shitty, apologies for error
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Just wanted to point out the wrong use of copyright here. Copyright is for literary and artistic works like novels, films, songs. It’s more appropriate to use patent.
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I still dont like this ark because of the way its put out with fionn. I understand that fionn didnt do that much wrong. I understand how its not his fault. But thats still no reason to justify in anyway leaving your child behind. As a personas that m mother left and remarried and had her other children. I’m happy that she is happy. But it makes me uncomfortable for her to come around and want to have a conversation with me like if she’s actually my mother. She says she loves me and that she’s sorry for leaving me literally after my dad died. I have told her that I did resent her for many years. I have such phsycological issues bevause of it. But just cuz she says I’m her daughter and she loves me gives her no right to come back to my life wanting a relationship. Like OK I forgive you but I dont know you. I have no love for you your just another person I know. So it makes me uncomfortable this while ark because its not realistic in the point of view of the Mc.
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She could’ve waited till the the mourning period is over and explain it to the child. If my mum ran off without telling me anything how would I feel? I would be devastated. Growing up without parents is hard. I don’t agree with Protagonist being weaker than Fionn, he had to endure alot in his life while Fionn gets to be with his beloved and starts a family. He dont do that in his childhood don’t expect it now
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